why i haven't blogged for 11 months (Part 2)

July 2008
busy with job-hunting in this very strange world. sending our CVs through e-mail and company websites. busy browsing the classifieds and making phone calls to headhunters. and braving the almost 40 degrees hot and humid dubai for walk-ins and scheduled interviews. almost every night before going to bed, hubby and i were doubting our sanity for coming here without secured jobs. then we'll end up either missing pinas or ranting about the bad smell all over the place (outside the flat).

mid-July 2008
got my job as an accountant in a trading company, which actually pays well. i thought i was on my happiest coz i need not worry anymore for jobhunting. but lo and behold, it's like my worst nightmare coming to life for the next 3 months of my dubai adventure! i realized this on my very first day. but i just kept telling myself that i am brave enough to face anything and everything in that company. hubby got the bad vibes, too! and asked me to back out. but then i was too proud to back out. it's one thing i both regret and not (see November 2008).

August 2008
my job was very demanding. actually, the boss is, who is a lebanese but would brag about being americanized just because he studied in the US for college! for everyday, i would need a good enough reason to convince myself that i love my job. i actually love the job but not the boss and the very heightened working environment my boss is imposing around the company. he yells at you, slams the door, throws a pen or a heap of papers, curses you, degrades the filipino people, tells you you're stupid, tells the whole staff that filipinos are stupid but 90% of his staff are filipinos and would not hire any other nationality! duh!!!

on the first week of the month, an indian accountant got fired for a very simple reason: the indian took home the warehouse keys because the office was already closed when he got back from the warehouse. and the one they replaced for him, liza, also a pinay, got fired on the last week of the month just because the poor girl can't take the yelling and the cursing. she was a nervous "cry baby" (as i quote my boss) everytime she sees him. it was pure hell everyday but i could proudly say that i had stormed it. not a single drop of tear.

on a happy note, hubby got a job, too!

September 2008
ramadan it is. happiness it should be because we had shortened work periods. instead of the usual 8.30 to 6.30, we were having 8.30-4.30. yes, i could have been happier but no. it was my worst nightmare! i would be asked by the boss to go to the office by 7am (and i live at sharjah that time!) for morning finance meetings, re: month-end FS, supplier updates, project contracts, bank guarantees, import LCs, forex rates, forward rates, collections, payments, etc. meetings are very time-and-energy-consuming. i'm almost out of my wits everytime. meetings would usually start before lunchtime (around 10 or 11) and would end after 4-5 looonnnggg hours of blabbers and yellings (from the boss, as expected). then he'll be out of the office for some time. and just before the clock strikes at 4.30, the phone will be ringing asking me to stay until he arrives in the office. the moment he comes, he'd make me do this and do that task after task. he would not even bother to ask you if it's okay to stay until the wee hours of the evening! that was at the same time as trying to be as numb as i can be for his really bad temper. even if there's really nothing wrong, you'll get yelled out at your face. the worst time i had was having lunch at 5pm (that was me without breakfast)! i remember calling my friend grace crying over the phone for the cruel boss i have. i pitied myself so much that i couldn't finish my pack lunch. i just cried while grace would try to give me encouraging words that God would not give me something that i can't handle. that kept me up just for that night because the following days were still very vivid to me that just narrating it here makes me go back to my nervous and traumatic days.

mid-September 2008
it was the 15th of the month and supposedly, i should be celebrating my 2nd month in the company. that morning, my boss was having a fit at all the staff. he was mad angry about anything and everything he sees. and even if there's nothing virtually wrong, he would find something to be angry about. he was really mad! an hour before lunch, my boss called for me and wanted me to report about the company's finance thingy. impromptu. i had my confidence though because i know what i'm working on. but then he began asking me about customer orders and supplier orders that the ones got fired were previously handling. i had no idea what he was talking about and he was expecting so much of me. i was not superhuman. and he doesn't care. he damn doesn't care. that stirred my physically, mentally and emotionally tired self. i was on the verge of crying and my voice would crack everytime i answer him back. no one had ever shouted at me like that in my entire life. i still remember him saying "i don't care about your feelings! i only care about my money and my business! in my company, i am god!"

it was too much to bear that those exclamation points are not enough to demonstrate how he almost tear my eardrums.

i was literally trembling and relieved at the same time when he dismissed me. my phone then rang and i was trying very hard to calm myself. the number's not registered on my phone but thought it was my friend's work phone. it was like desperate of me to talk to someone that time. i know my voice croaked at my first "hello". the girl at the other end is not my friend. she's a recruitment assistant in a company i'm not familiar with (i would later find it's a network of advertising companies). she saw my cv at bayt.com and asks me if i'm still interested for an accounting job. i haven't sent an application to them, i was sure. but i was glad of the opportunity that came knocking at me. she thought i was hesitant to take the job (she's also kabayan) so she just kept convincing me that i should try it out coz the position offered is really nice and that the company would take care of my transfer. in one week i got interviewed by the recruitment manager and by the cfo, then being offered the job with a nice package, and the promise that they would do anything to ease out my transfer to them. thank you Lord!

last week of September 2008
i filed my resignation. my boss was unbelievably calm that night and he was all too kind to humble himself and convince me not to resign. eventually he agreed that i leave the company but only after 5 weeks. too kind words. and too good to be true.

the next days were mad hell again! i don't want to narrate it anymore except for the fact that he held my salary for september!

October 2008
my boss was pressuring me too much that i barely have time to take notice that my period have lapsed. i was delayed for 20 days! i have my weight checked and i just lost 8 pounds from the 88 pounds that i barely have when i first arrived in dubai. i even thought i was pregnant (which made me and hubby so ecstatic!). when my period finally came, i got depressed the more because i knew that the delay was all because of stress! it was the first time i missed my period for more than 10 days!

my work has become a health issue! and that was serious for me.

then even on my last day at work, my boss gave me enough problems to torture me for the rest of 2008!

my visa got cancelled without my last pay (two-months salary!) and i had a 6-month labor ban. that means i cannot take another job within uae unless a freezone company or a government sector would offer me a job!

November 2008
i exited to kish, iran and got my company visit visa the other day. sponsored by the new company that hired me.

on my first day at work, the HR executive toured me around the company and i was warmly welcomed.

in two weeks time, i got my residence visa! up till now, i am really thankful to my company's HR people. they handled my job ban through one of the companies' free zone entities. i just got lucky, i guess. our PRO was right, i just have to relax.

amidst too much cruelty from the past months, God was all along planning a better life for me!

aside from that, i also got bitten by Edward Cullen! i watched Twilight with flatmate Ate Rhoda! we were both in love!

December 2008
i had terrible bed bug bites! they're still haunting me from time to time. and the marks haven't vanished completely. anyone knows a good cream/lotion to lather on???

good news here: i gained back my 88 pounds and more! i'm now 91 pounds! =P i know i'm still on the petite-slim side of the fence but i'm working on it. every one pound i gain is like happiness to me already.

holiday season here, we celebrated with bountiful of pinoy food and sweets and some videoke with our flatmates. it was bittersweet. trying to enjoy the food and the singing while missing our "pinoy pasko".

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okay that's it. too much catching up here. it was a very boring story indeed. but for me, it's a part of my "moving on" for 2009.

my previous year had been a mixture of emotions, failures, struggles and luck. i am very thankful that God has opened up opportunities for me, not only to be happy, but also to be strong enough to survive what "has been".